He ignored me. he betrayed me. He broke me into a million precise .it was as if someone had cut me open, slashed deeply into each of my organs and stitched me back up again to
live a nightmare-bleeding from the inside out. I didn’t know I had become a statistic for the crime that you never hear about.
We as a society hear the world rape and picture a woman being attacked in a dark alley by some drifter. We as media educated drones, envision a college co-ed going to a party and
being assaulted by a Gang of frat boys. We as women, imagine some sicko holding a knife to our throats to get what he wants.
Is that rape? you bet. but all those scenarios account for only about 28% of rape of India most rape are like ? that doesn’t make any sense. What we know as rape isn’t the majority.why? how can it be that so many rapes committed aren’t what we know the rape? No one wants to talk about real rape. no one wants to put it out there for discussions. no one wants to admit that our society has a large majority of rapes that are unspeakable, let
alone unthinkable. Or even worse society just doesn’t think the majority is as bad as the stereotype. If that’s the case, were dead wrong every last one of us.
Real rape doesn’t have to be physically violent. Only 5%of completed rape result in serious
physical injury. So if the rapist didn’t hurt them, how’d they get raped? most rapes involve
much more deceptive tactics to achieve the “final goal”.the victim is pressured coerced
manipulated and even tricked(lied to) into doing the will of the predator even why they
don’t want to and say no.the tactics can vary but we’ve all head them voiced in society,’I talked her into it” . I wore her down and the infamous “no means yes”. There is no such thing as “convincing” someone to have sex. while I hate to use the cliche, it puts it bluntly
no mean NO.
Real rape doesn’t have to be committed by a stranger. a staggering 80% of rapes are carried out by some you know. That means that your assailant is your husband, boyfriend,
friend, relative or co-worker. The authorities call it acquaintance rape, but its real rape, plain
and simple. your attacker will know you and everything about you. They’ll know what to say
and do to get what they want. Some might say this kind of rape isn’t as bad since you
know what. Studies show that rape by an acquaintance has more far-reaching psychological effect and symptoms than stranger rape. I mean just imagine it. someone you love or care about committing such a heinous act upon you against you will. how can
that not mess you up? You won’t even know it happened. I was raped last fall. my rape was not the deviant
jumping from the bushes; it didn’t occur in some dorm room either . it was someone who
was supposed to be a “friend” and it happened in my own home.I wasn’t beaten within an
inch of my life, I wasn’t beaten all. I had all the preconceived ideas about rape that most of
us carry.so I didn’t think it was rape.
Taking advantage of my vulnerability during a separation from my husband, he invaded
my life .he started ogling me and making comments that made me uncomfortable .i told him
to knock it off but he just ignored me.I became accustomed to his behavior .he started
isolating me from everyone; making up thing “said” about me .it made me feel so betrayed,
so alone. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone anymore.I even felt my own mother didn’t love
me after he was done with his destruction of my self-esteem.
he pushed and pushed until he got what he wanted.i said “no” and “stop” but this did not deter him. I cried while it happened but he didn’t care. I
pushed him off of me but he just kept going .afterwardIi locked my self in the bathroom and
cried even more .he made me feel like I was overcasting, being “dramatic “ he insulted me
and cracked jokes.he laughed it off .he had me convinced that I made the choice to have
sex with him, that it was a “mistake” I had made, so I didn’t think it was raped
Approximately 73% of rape victims don’t identify their rapes until much later. it took me four
months to call it rape. it wasn’t until I spoke of it’s in its entirety that I knew .hearing the word
flicking off my tongue, floating in the air, vibrating off my ears and piercing into my heart
forced me to see. it was a rape I’d never seen in the movie, I’d never read about in a magazine,
I’d never imagined with my prior media educated ideas on the subject it screaming to be
heard .it was my rape it was real rape.
it didn’t have happened that way .i could have to know what to look for, how to know when a
situation has gone from bad to worse. I could have been educated, warned something
anything .but I wasn’t most of the users aren’t .we buy the stereotypes and the preconceived
notion the media sell us. but we don’t have to. we can make a difference. I can make a
difference. Telling my story, one year later, is like reliving each horrifying moment, but I
need to do it I couldn’t stop him from destroying me that night, but maybe I can empower
someone else to stand up and be heard when they say “NO”
NO means “NO”
Thanks for reading
BY- Sachin Sharma
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