The Choice I Never Made by Rhydhm Takkar- The Bitter Bites

It was bright red and the music was roaring in the dimly lit club. The floor was vibrating with the hard bass music that was making my head ache. I couldn’t make out how many but there were more men than usual tonight. Maybe that is because my hands were shaking. I didn’t want to do this tonight. I don’t know why but this night was different than the others. There was a sense of deja vu in the air that was making my spine shiver with fear. It was cold. I could see the goosebumps rising on my bare skin. The fluorescent lights in the back room weren’t making it any better. The anxiety I have been feeling all day was worse than ever. It was like something was blocking my air supply. I focused on a single point on the horizon to calm my breaths.
“It’s your turn Red!” Marcel shouted from somewhere, making me flinch. I was my turn. I took a deep breath and climbed on the stage. Immediately my eyes were blinded by the harsh neon lights. The music dimmed in my ears so I could make out the incoherent words the men were throwing my way. They were vulgar, harsher. I took a deep breath.
‘Let’s get this over with, I thought as I threw my body against the pole with a huge Flirtatious smile on my face, selling my dignity for yet another night.
I was grinding and touching and feeling and flashing. It was disgusting. It was wrong. It was my job. I went closer to them. The one who had paid extra to touch my breasts, to shove money in my bra. Paid extra, so they could grab me and feel me and smack me as they liked. I was the light of this room, the lone star, they all came to touch every night. I wasn’t cheap. Oh no, I was the most expensive star. But every night they came, and every night I burned out a little more. The sadistic part of me liked it. But it also scared me because it wasn’t the only part of me that was starting to like it. I walked back to the center of the stage, doing my same routine, hearing them shout themselves hoarse. It was like someone gave a boost to the Aderaline running in my veins. I loved how they never got bored of my body. Somehow, that thought made me sad.
I walked backstage, with their moans following my retreat. I hated it as much as I liked it.
“You were the star of the evening,” Marcel grinned at me, showing his yellow teeth. His smile was creepy.
“Ain’t I always,”I gave him a wink, hoping to sidestep this conversation as quickly as I could.
Before I could walk away, he took hold of the wrist, “you up for some sucking?”
“Not tonight,” I gave him a twisted smile.
I walked back to my dressing room feeling more drained than ever. I wanted to get out of here. The little show of confidence I put out there took more energy than anything.
I packed my belongings, putting on my clothes. I slammed the door behind me rushing out of the back door. It was making me sick. The men, the sex, everything. The fact that I was starting to like it was scaring the shit out of me. I wanted to go and never return again. I wanted to stop it before I became addicted to it.
I crept out of the back door, hoping to avoid any drunken men hanging around but I just wasn’t lucky.
“You’re little show out there made me horny as fuck!” a harsh voice out of shadows said, making me cringe.
I turned around to tell him off but instead, I got my breath knocked out of me.
“Adam,” I whispered. I couldn’t believe it. My favorite daydream and the worst nightmare was standing right in front of me looking like devil’s handsome cousin. His blue eyes were a shade darker and his lips were pulled in a sarcastic smirk. He was enjoying this. Enjoying the pain that flashed in my eyes, how I suddenly forgot how to speak, how my legs were quivering under his heated gaze.
“Always knew you were a slut,” he said, leaning against the wall, “But gotta admit you make a hella stripper.”
His eyes were glinting with hatred and his voice was dripping with venom.
“I had no choice,” I said softly.
Abruptly, he threw a wad of dollars at my feet. “Suck.”
That one word made my heart drown. I was glaring at him, the man I loved with all my heart, silently seething at my fate.
“No, I won’t do it.”I shook my head firmly.
Suddenly, I was slammed against the wall and the breath knocked out of me for the second time this evening. Adam was caging me with his body, binding my wrists. He smirked down at me, “But darling you don’t have a choice.”
I looked up at his face, the blue eyes that were always filled with love were glinting with betrayal, the hands that always Caressed me were cutting into my wrists.
At that moment I realized, I really didn’t have a Choice.
So, I bent down on my knees.